April 2012
4 posts
Lloyd The Noid
Lloyd the Noid is what they called him back at the pen. It was unnerving, to say the least, to meet up with someone who criminals advisedly steered clear of. Trepidation shook my hands while I dialed him. I hoped with each subsequent ring that an answering machine would interrupt my call; that I would have avoided Lloyd after being so foolish as to seek him out. Lloyd the Noid answered, to my...
The laundromat is tucked in the corner of a desolate plaza, it’s a bygone plaza even to the suburbanites whose fenced in ideals likely prompted its creation. A Dollar Tree and comparably scanty Big K are the major consumer stores. The nugatory businesses are laughable, in the best light. In the plaza’s true corner, where the angle is formed, there’s a shady billiards hall. Wedged...
March 2012
6 posts
I learned how to crawl, and then walk, and then drive. And then, I learned to walk.
If one has the gall to deny their tears when leaving their mother for the first extended period of time, then they assuredly weren’t raised by her. Sure, I cried when she and my stepfather bid me adieu, leaving me without my house or car nearby. The latter proved more of an issue in the ensuing months. I...
“I think it’s great for two people to be together. That is a good number. I...”
– Henry Rollins
2 tags
When Carlisle gave up Little League just a few months shy of his 12th birthday, not one of his teammates could’ve guessed that he’d hang on to his baseball pants. He wouldn’t wear them again, but he could.
He used to stop by the swanky coffee spot on his way to junior high, it was one of his growth stunting outlets. He relished the genteel twenty-somethings that preferred their...
There’s a whole lot of non-fiction in the fiction we write, our stories rife with personal experience. There’s always a box, no matter how far outside of it one intends to stretch. Thus the paradox, is it better to have a larger box from which to draw or a smaller box, leaving the rest to be conjured without reference.
Location, location, location. Realtors covet places based largely on their proximity to other places; desirable places. Desirably places are inhabited by desirable people, often deemed so by desirably lofty amounts of dispensable income, or by other desirable people. Aren’t we all concerned with how we stack up? Face cards in a deck. Kings and queens wish to coalesce with kings and queens,...
February 2012
5 posts
& we faced a new epoch
we’d antiquated
unbeknownst to us
and not quite enough
to understand
to get it
whatever it is we’re getting at
1 tag
Jerry
He was preaching about the sanctity of tits. Tit theology, if you will. Breasts are abundant like barnacles. A smile peeked through his unkempt upper lip as he recounted all of the nipples he’d seen, the perky and the pepperoni. His philtrum had long sprouted facial hair older than the follicles slipping through my boxer-briefs, like a weathered broom. He was weathered too, like a man who has...
1 tag
He gingerly fingers his way along the shelves. His fingers stop as if they are playing a selecting game of sorts, the only viable way to choose narcotics. Eeny- meeny… He selects his poison for the night and throws back his head in routine fashion; an insolent whiplash bolstered by a nonchalant mentality that’d be scoffed at by the likes of Amy Winehouse.
The fluorescent bulbs bordering the...
January 2012
6 posts
A reputable neighborhood, suffering from the... →
1 tag
Pretenses drawled about her mannerisms as she thwarted any hopeful student’s idea of an art history professor grounded by societal norms. Sagaciously she professed her love of students and how her varying degrees in the arts would envelop us and subsequently bolster our bourgeois understanding of culture into aristocratic prowess. She spoke slowly with saccharine praise of the humanities, or...
1 tag
Indicative of the illegitimacy of proper identification cozied in the wallets of the youthful “of-aged,” I dreamt myself at a watering hole I’d become familiar with merely on the external. Its coordinates are proximal to my house. Inside, I felt timorous in contrary to my intrepid bar hopping and rampant identity theft. Upon ordering a beer that I deemed tasty according to the...
December 2011
5 posts
They see me as the yankee imperialist aggressor,... →
The North Korean tour of boredom and propaganda
2 tags
Straining myself to accurately convey the indubitable mitigation that driving alone, whether with or without direction, gives me. It shouldn’t be so difficult to express when the bottom line is so easy to conjure. I like driving, particularly with empty seats surrounding. What’s the fuss in describing that? But in fuss I have been indulging. Presumably this could root from a devout...
My most acclaimed drunk text
“I litrLlty just said “ph I’m sorry does it bother you that by I’d the quintessential staple of americAn proverbs”
The screen door smacked against its frame inches behind me as I walked in, so unsuspecting. It’s that moment when cavalier shifts to crisis, a slew of emotion that one hardly knows how to combat. It’s that moment when one’s faithful perception of monogamy is disrupted by the ripple of truth, by the revelation of a third party. The ton of bricks, the haymaker. I looked to those...
November 2011
5 posts
Curmudgeon- Cantankerous, surly
Incorrigible- Hopeless, without reform
Feral- Untamed, wild
Harrow- Sack, demolish
Deference- Obedience, compliance
Ubiquity- Omnipresence
Recent additions to my vocabulary, in particular order.
Everybody these days claims to be an insomniac. These pretense exclamations root not from diagnosed insomnia, but rather the ado of the internet. It’s unlikely that we suffer from an unconquerably undesirable wake. We’re too connected to the internet to connect with our pillow, is all.
Every night there’s trouble. No one’s got no dough, but all the world’s here wasting it. Always money for thrills and twists, and never money for food. Sometimes I despair the species, you know? Road To Perdition
October 2011
9 posts
1 tag
There’s a unique affinity tagged upon the hosted; the position of the novel guest, the plus one. Vested with only the obligatory leash to one’s host, the guest is free to mingle amongst acquaintances without awkward relations to reference. Guests are judged to the extent of their familiarity; sparse attendance with a low retention rate leaves little to evaluate. It’s one of those...
peruse →
I wouldn’t consider it losing one’s mind. This would have the implications of brain deterioration; the literal loss of thoughts that once were or, rather, never will be. Cloudy thoughts, moreover. In the midst of an overcast cerebral forecast, things may subside, but rarely do they dissipate. How can one lose their mind, when we are bounded by no limitations; when we cannot possibly...
High brow hipsters strut the avenues of cities nearby, a satellite, I float around with nothing but my wandering eye..
Psychic Benefits →
“The big difference between art and sports, of course, is that art collectors are honest about psychic benefits. They do not wake up one day, pretend that looking at a Van Gogh leaves them cold, and demand a $27 million refund from their art dealer. But that is exactly what the NBA owners are doing.”
1 tag
If I were to dabble in real estate I would do so just before the leaves form favelas.
The colorful yet decaying favelas spur a botanical sprawl the likes of an infesting weed. Eventually, when the fallen appendages can no longer be swept under the rug, we rake them out. And thus comes relocation warranted by their inability to just hang on, but they never did have a chance. Isn’t it always...
1 tag
Every weekend comes to an end, infamy is drawn from vague memories and Sweet&Low lies, low calorie beer and low caliber lore. The lifespan of the stories, despite exponential editing and additional memories surfacing, has a duration of roughly one hundred hours. In a matter of days these non-fiction fables are reworked and forgotten as a flush of new tales echo about alcohol saturated...
“The leaves are starting to change now. And no I’m not saying that you...”
September 2011
15 posts
Scott Schuman, The “Sponsored” blogger.
Fashion aside, let’s focus on the advertising involved here. This guy is not arrogant in that he’s too confident and shrugs off the microbloggers following in his footsteps, his arrogance and naivety derive from the fact that he believes that American Apparel is “sponsoring” him. He huffs and puffs about his integrity. AA is...
Bugs Infesting Area Apartment Have No Clear Goal →
BUFFALO, NY—Residents in a downtown apartment questioned the goals and motives of the bugs infesting their home this week after watching cockroaches wander aimlessly from room to room with no apparent objective. “At first I thought they were just searching for food,” Valerie Dicaro said Wednesday, adding that she figured the bugs would have their act together by now, considering it’s been six...
J: (While playing a video game) Alright, where the fuck is the ground?
TD: (While intoxicated, and slightly relieved by the recognition of similar concerns) That’s what I’m sayin’!
virtuosoveritas asked: Incredible blog. I'm so glad I found it.
2 tags
Every Facebook status is an anecdote concerning, or rather a plea of hatred toward Facebook. Changes start to circulate and its users feel mistreated, as if the updates had the full intent of inconveniencing those avid users. Zuckerberg created something so powerful that not only would it manifest itself as a societal normality, but would manifest itself inside itself. Inception of the mass...
KIDS & GLORY
Not unlike those deeply light saturated photographs of summer days, sunlit nostalgia encapsulated for eternity, a group of kids roamed the beach that adjoined the Atlantic. I leave out an adjective preceding the group simply because “kids” humors the wandering imagination. Kids are just kids, with but only spontaneity as a reflection of their nerves. I thought of tagging them with a...
HUMAN BEINGS IN A MOB, WHAT'S A MOB TO A KING,...
